This is Pie/ HOW TO IRON YOUR OWN DAMN SHIRT

Pie's my first needle felted friend!

While I was browsing through some books in the library, "HOW TO IRON YOUR OWN DAMN SHIRT- The Perfect Husband Handbook" popped up for some obscure reason in the needlecraft section. I chucked one of my numerous knitting books and borrowed it instead.

Yes! You poor confused child, it's a men's book, but the topics were so ridiculous I absolutely had to have it.

How to Apologize Convincingly
How to Notice Her Haircut
How to Make Breakfast in Bed (a labor fraught with peril, my friend. Fraught, I say, with peril!)
How to Get out of Bed Without Waking Her
How to Appear Calm While She's Driving (let's face it, digging your nails into the dashboard everytime she takes the wheel is bad for your blood pressure and your car's resale value)
How to be Handy
How to Explain Football (one of the few things that briefly fills that gaping void in your otherwise pathetic vacuous life)
How to Wait Patiently Until She's Ready to Leave
How to Defend her Honour
How to Enjoy a Chick Flick
How to Not Look Like a Stalker in Victoria's Secret
How to Make a Bouquet (it's as if the sight and smell of flowers interferes with her built-in bullshit detector)


organising a perfect husband competition next week??
Sign me up baby!!